A mother was supported online after making the difficult decision She cut financial ties with her 21-year-old daughter who is getting tough.
This decision was met with dismay by her extended family, but he wholeheartedly supported it Social media.
Studying at Ohio University More than 1000 mothers separated from adults children62.4 percent said their children’s mental health – whether it was anxiety, addiction, depression or alcoholism – played a role in the break.
Mental health issues certainly played a role in the situation detailed in reddit By a user posted as BeaAndZoesBadMom.
Her mother said she had “tried every resource available” to address Zoe’s problems, including encouraging her to channel her emotions into positive outlets like kickboxing. However, her daughter stopped going to therapy when she turned 18, calling it a “waste of time” and has largely given up activities that helped her mental state.
Until recently, she was living “without rent” with her mother and stepfather who pay for her education, car, phone and any other expenses. “Zoe refuses to help around the house, her mother wrote. “Asking Zoe to do any small chore turns into Zoe screaming and swearing while I have to stop the escalation.”
BeaAndZoesBadMom said Zoe believes she is “qualified” for her parents’ money and is angry at them for trying to save money for her younger sister Bea’s college. educationAlthough benefiting from the same financial support are the same.
The mother said she had warned Zoe “for weeks” not to treat the family more respectfully. The final straw came when Zoe began complaining to her sister about having to put a frozen meal in the oven for her stepfather Tim, calling him a “useless king.” Tim is a cancer survivor who earlier this year completed a round of chemotherapy.
“Hearing Zoe say that a man who supported and nurtured her and was a father to her when her biological father didn’t care for her was the breaking point for me,” the mother said. When she next saw Zoe, she told her she had a month to move out and would need to start paying for and insuring her own car.
“We won’t pay anything anymore,” she said. “We’re not going to treat Tim and I like ATMs and burdens with everything provided for her. If she wants to act like she’s an all-knowing adult, we’ll treat her like one and let her fend for herself.”
Although she expected Zoe to end up living with her grandparents, the woman said her sister criticized her style and called her “the worst person I’ve ever met” for turning her back on her family.
However, the response on Reddit was quite different.
Nif824 said: “I hope this is a wake-up call for her about how she treats others. She may have some trauma to deal with but when she gets older she will realize that almost everyone suffers from it… an excuse to treat people poorly.”
And A1sauc3d added, “Being traumatized does not give you the right to harm others. When you’re a child, that’s understandable. But as you become an adult, it’s your responsibility to act and control your problems.”
Meanwhile, Electrical-Date-3951 wrote: “There comes a point where you have to take responsibility for your actions. She doesn’t want to move a finger, she doesn’t want help, and she feels like everything has been handed to her.”
Elsewhere, Admirable-Judgment said, “She has invested more time, money, and affection than anyone could reasonably expect…and it was not enough for her to show a minimum of civility to you and your husband.”
Psychiatrist Sharon Martin admitted this Cutting ties with a child is not easyIn these situations, it is important for parents to be “specific about their limits.”
“For example, they need to be clear about whether they want to no longer contact, reduce contact, just a certain form of contact, or have a cool-down period for a certain amount of time,” she said.
They should also “avoid ultimatums or threats that they do not intend to pursue,” Martin said.
“If they want to leave the door open for reconciliation, they should state what the problem behaviors are, be specific, and provide examples,” she said. Then decide what corrective action is required for waiver to be an option.